I think some folks in the Louisiana state legislature have been drinking Gulf water. How else can I explain these two recent events?
“Thus far efforts made by mortals to try to solve the crisis have been to no avail,” state Sen. Robert Adley said in a statement released after last week’s unanimous vote for the day of prayer. “It is clearly time for a miracle for us.”
I know that BP hasn’t handled the crisis very well, but really… I assure you that the Imaginary Friend in the Sky will not do any better. I can only hope that some of the people whose prayers go unanswered will think about why that happened and draw the right conclusion. I also hope they do their thinking in the very near future, and I’ll even give them some help. I suggest that they start by memorizing this list:
- God is not punishing Louisiana, the Gulf states, the Deep South, or the USA for neglecting him, turning away from him or otherwise offending him.
- God is not punishing gays for being gay.
- God is not punishing atheists for being atheists.
- God is not refusing to respond because an insufficient number of people prayed for his intervention.
- God is not refusing to respond because of sin in the church or because of sin in the lives of individual believers.
God is not refusing to respond at all, nor will he be responding in the future. Get those ideas out of your heads right now and replace them with this one: The reason God isn’t responding is because he/she/it is not there. What this means is that, like it or not, there isn’t going to be a miracle in the Gulf. The only way the Gulf will be cleaned up is by the continuing efforts of humankind: God is not going to step in and save us from ourselves.
Now that I’ve cleared that up, I’ll move to the second item on my agenda. The Louisiana state legislature will allow people to carry guns in church. Yes, you read that correctly, and no, I didn’t make it up. It may give “being slain in the spirit” a whole new meaning.
“Supporters of the bill said it can be a deterrent against criminal activity in church….”
If people are that scared of their priests and pastors, why are they still going to church?
— the chaplain