Sunday Funnies #5: Googleoetry

24 Feb

The ceaselessly inventive Exterminator has created a new art form that he calls “googleoetry.” One composes a googleoem by assembling, in a more or less coherent fashion, search terms that people have used to arrive at one’s blog. Ordinary Girl and Chanson have recently contributed what I’m sure will be the first of many additions to a growing body of literature. This is my first attempt at this surprisingly difficult literary medium.

Deacon Poem

Be an Apostate!
Is James Dobson an apostate?
Focus on the Family
Anti-John McCain.
Dobson McCain thumb nose,
Jesus for the non-religious apostate:
Apostate’s Chapel.

Organizations offering opportunities to
Be a Witness, Not a Judge!
What if Christians don’t witness?
How effective are church billboards?
Manipulation in the rawest form:
Military metaphor Bible,
Promise not to drink on confirmation.
Review misquoting Jesus –
Jesus statement on politics.

What’s so Bad about Religion?
Banned books elementary school war.
Why we need censorship in books:
Books with pictures of guns,
Tango Makes Three,
Books with pictures of gun injuries.
New Life Church Shootings.

Aphrodite’s Greatest Failure:
How sexuality is viewed across religions,
Catholic churches view on premarital
Religions who allow sexuality.
Most men are by nature perverted –
The result of secret sin.

Stages of grieving:
We are all going to die.

— the chaplain


Posted by on February 24, 2008 in humor, poetry


18 responses to “Sunday Funnies #5: Googleoetry

  1. C. L. Hanson

    February 24, 2008 at 1:27 pm

    Wow, your poem is amazingly cool!!! I like the way you grouped lines to alter their meaning.

  2. Brian

    February 24, 2008 at 1:55 pm

    That is so awesome. I’m going to try to put one together later, but I doubt it will be as good as yours.

  3. The (Parenthetical) Atheist

    February 24, 2008 at 3:50 pm

    If I did this now, my blog is so young I’d have a haiku. And I really don’t like haikus. Well, maybe I’ll try it. We’ll see.

  4. The Exterminator

    February 24, 2008 at 4:41 pm

    And not a single line with the word “fuck”?

    Well, now, when someone searches not a single line with the word “fuck”, they’ll find your blog.

  5. Kelly

    February 24, 2008 at 8:40 pm

    That last couplet is effective. Wow. Talk about existential!

    The Exterminator has such a potty mouth.

    I’ll try this out and see how I do.

  6. the chaplain

    February 24, 2008 at 8:46 pm

    C.L. & Brian – thanks.

    (Parenthetical) – If haiku doesn’t work for you, try a limerick.

    Exterminator – “Well, now, when someone searches not a single line with the word “fuck”, they’ll find your blog.” If that phrase shows up on my list tomorrow, I’ll know whom to thank. :)

    Kelly – “The Exterminator has such a potty mouth.” Yeah, he does, but, AFAIK, he’s pot-free on the inside. ;)

  7. The Ridger

    February 24, 2008 at 9:04 pm

    I looked at this, but few people find my blog from Google it seems… sigh.

  8. Altoona Atheist

    February 24, 2008 at 10:28 pm

    My epiphany began here……Promise not to drink on confirmation..


    Damn this Yuengling is too good! Who drinks and blogs?.. Anyone?

  9. PhillyChief

    February 25, 2008 at 10:49 am

    I’ve drank and podcasted. Drinking and blogging, for me, ends up in trouble. Damn you scotch!

    Your poem seems more tight, like an early Bogan. Ex’s poem was more loose. I’m not saying one’s better than the other, but I find it amusing that each poem reflects the person.

  10. ordinary girl

    February 25, 2008 at 11:19 am


    I echo Kelly about the last two lines, but I really like the last two stanzas together.

  11. the chaplain

    February 25, 2008 at 5:29 pm

    Ridger: Google searches may lead to about 15-20% of my hits; I haven’t done the math.

    Altoona: I will confess to imbibing in the occasional glass of wine while blogging. (burp)

    Philly: I sip very slowly, so I think I’ve usually managed to stay out of blog trouble.

    OG: Thanks.

  12. The Exterminator

    February 25, 2008 at 6:44 pm

    I often have a beer or a glass of wine going when I’m bolgging. But I don’t think it shwos.

  13. The Ridger

    February 25, 2008 at 7:49 pm

    Something else for when you can’t think of something to write about – I tag you historically (though you don’t have too, of course.

  14. the chaplain

    February 25, 2008 at 8:35 pm

    Exterminator: No, it deostn shwo ‘t all.

    Ridger: I’ll have mine up in a day or two.

  15. PhillyChief

    February 25, 2008 at 9:11 pm

    I wish alcohol only screwed up my spelling. In fact, my spelling is unchanged, but the things spelled out? Well they’re not very nice. And before you bastards say anything, I’m not always typing angry for fucks sake.

    I had a beer with dinner.

  16. Alan

    February 26, 2008 at 5:30 pm

    Great idea – I’m going to pass this meme along through my blog. :)

  17. John Evo

    February 26, 2008 at 7:32 pm

    I’ve liked all the Googl-oetry. But I think this one has actually inspired me. I might give it a go. Or not. We’ll see. We’re all going to die.


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