Out of Town (Again!)

– the chaplain

 

Religion is Funny

I came across some interesting odds and ends this past week. The first is a church sign that, in the light of numerous scandals involving clergy abuse of parishioners, takes on a sinister meaning:

Sinister Sign

The second item reminded me of Mark Twain’s observation that

Man is the religious animal. He is the only religious animal. He is the only animal that has the True Religion –- several of them. He is the only animal that loves his neighbor as himself and cuts his throat, if his theology isn’t straight. He has made a graveyard of the globe in trying his honest best to smooth his brother’s path to happiness and heaven.

With that in mind, I was amused by this look at how bugs, if they had religion, might worship their savior:

Everyone Worships the Same God

Finally, an action figure I’ve just got to have:

God: New & Improved, Armed & Dangerous

That explains why so many Christians are gun nuts.

(sung to the tune of “Gimme that Old Time Religion”):
Gimme that AK-47,
Gimme that AK-47,
Gimme that AK-47,
It’s good enough for me.

If it’s good enough for YHWH,
If it’s good enough for YHWH
If it’s good enough for YHWH
It’s good enough for me.

– the chaplain

 

Where Madness Begins?

Tom Reynolds, the British owner of a blog named Random Acts of Reality, has written a couple of books that give readers a glimpse into his life as a paramedic. I’m currently reading More Blood, More Sweat and Another Cup of Tea, the sequel to Blood, Sweat and Tea (which I haven’t read). When I picked up the book, I didn’t realize that Reynolds was an atheist. I was just interested in reading tales of his life as an ambulance driver. My niece is an ER nurse, so I’ve heard and read more than a few bizarre tales about people in medical distress and sometimes find them entertaining. I thought you might be interested in some bits from a chapter entitled, “Possession.”

Every so often we get sent to ‘person behaving strangely,’ sometimes this is an adult and sometimes it is a child. When we reach the patient we are told, with a straight face nonetheless, that the patient is possessed by ancestors/spirits/demons.

Despite being an evangelical atheist, I have to take this sort of thing seriously. There is however a problem – our training guidelines pull us in two directions.

Direction one: we should respect the culture and traditions of our patients.

Direction two: we should never collude with, or reinforce the delusions, of someone who is psychotic.

(Psychosis is defined as ‘irrational beliefs not shared by the patient’s traditions or culture’.)

You can see the problem that we have….

I’ve been to a teenage girl who was ‘protected’ from demons by some wall hangings, but they might have found a way through and this was what was making her sick.

I’ve been to a mother who was channelling spirits in order to drive out the evil ancestors plaguing her daughter (who, unsurprisingly perhaps, had mental health issues).

I’ve been to members of an evangelical Christian cult who were trying to drive evil spirits out of their elderly relative by throwing salt at them [sic]….

So where do I stand? Do I respect the culture and agree that ‘yes, it might be demons’, or do I not reinforce their delusions by reminding them that a urine infection can cause similar symptoms? More importantly, where does madness end and religion begin?

Some questions to think about:

• What do you think about the notion of evangelical atheism?
• How does the behavior Reynolds described here compare with such practices as deliverance and witch hunting?
• What is your opinion of the definition of “psychosis” Reynolds provides?

If you don’t like any of those questions, just do what you always do and comment about whatever strikes your fancy.

– the chaplain

 

More Mailbag Mania

Imagine my delight when I opened my emailbox and found this waiting for me! Christmas came early this year! I’m so thrilled, I just have to share my joy. You may send your thanks in the form of cash (large denominations only) or cashier’s checks.

Ever wonder what would happen if we treated our Bible like we treat our cell phone?
What if we carried it around in our purses or pockets?
What if we flipped through it several times a day?
What if we turned back to go get it if we forgot it?
What if we used it to receive messages from the text?
What if we treated it like we couldn’t live without it?
What if we gave it to Kids as gifts?
What if we used it when we traveled?
What if we used it in case of emergency?
This is something to make you go….hmm…where is my Bible?
Oh, and one more thing.
Unlike our cell phone, we don’t have to worry about our Bible being disconnected because Jesus already paid the bill.
Makes you stop and think ‘where are my priorities? And no dropped calls!
When Jesus died on the cross, he was thinking of you!
If you are one of the 7% who will stand up for Him, forward this.
93% of the people won’t forward this.

At least the sender knows basic arithmetic. Should I count myself as one of the 7% who forwarded it? Ahhh!  I bask in the glow of having made Baby Jesus smile. Look at it this way: at least the sniveling little brat won’t be crying today!

– the chaplain

 

What is in the Water Down There?

I think some folks in the Louisiana state legislature have been drinking Gulf water. How else can I explain these two recent events?

First, as Sarah Palin so helpfully tweeted, Louisiana’s state legislature designated today as a day of prayer for divine intervention in the Gulf of Mexico.

“Thus far efforts made by mortals to try to solve the crisis have been to no avail,” state Sen. Robert Adley said in a statement released after last week’s unanimous vote for the day of prayer. “It is clearly time for a miracle for us.”

I know that BP hasn’t handled the crisis very well, but really… I assure you that the Imaginary Friend in the Sky will not do any better. I can only hope that some of the people whose prayers go unanswered will think about why that happened and draw the right conclusion. I also hope they do their thinking in the very near future, and I’ll even give them some help. I suggest that they start by memorizing this list:

• God is not punishing Louisiana, the Gulf states, the Deep South, or the USA for neglecting him, turning away from him or otherwise offending him.
• God is not punishing gays for being gay.
• God is not punishing atheists for being atheists.
• God is not refusing to respond because an insufficient number of people prayed for his intervention.
• God is not refusing to respond because of sin in the church or because of sin in the lives of individual believers.

God is not refusing to respond at all, nor will he be responding in the future. Get those ideas out of your heads right now and replace them with this one: The reason God isn’t responding is because he/she/it is not there. What this means is that, like it or not, there isn’t going to be a miracle in the Gulf. The only way the Gulf will be cleaned up is by the continuing efforts of humankind: God is not going to step in and save us from ourselves.

Now that I’ve cleared that up, I’ll move to the second item on my agenda. The Louisiana state legislature will allow people to carry guns in church. Yes, you read that correctly, and no, I didn’t make it up. It may give “being slain in the spirit” a whole new meaning.

“Supporters of the bill said it can be a deterrent against criminal activity in church….”

If people are that scared of their priests and pastors, why are they still going to church?

– the chaplain