A conservative Christian Republican politician starred in several news items at The Washington Post and Talking Points Memo today.
There. I’ve given you all the clues you need to figure out where this is going. Like many of his fellow conservative Christians, Republicans and politicians, Rep. Mark Souder (R-IN) is a vocal proponent of “family values” and abstinence-only sex education for teens, and an equally vocal opponent of homosexual marriage. Given all of those credentials, I must say that I’m shocked, shocked I tell you (and I know you’ll be too), that Rep. Souder’s “family values” don’t include monogamy. Well, he says they do now, but that must not have been the case for quite some time. How else can one explain the fact that the married Rep. Souder had a lengthy affair with a staffer who joined his team in 2004? Surely an upright “family values,” “marriage is between one man and one woman” conservative Christian wouldn’t have been *gasp* a hypocrite!
How many of these stories have to emerge before conservative Christians and politicians who espouse conservative Christian talking points will lose all credibility with the American public? My skepticism about outspoken Christians, and outspoken politicians who profess to be Christians, has grown to the point that, the next time I hear someone remotely like Souder say the words “family values,” I’m going to hire a PI to dig up the dirt. Is there a Republican currently in Congress who has not had, or is not having, an extramarital affair? I know Democrats are far from saintly, but hypocrisy of this sort seems to be a particular specialty of conservative Christian Republicans. Why does anyone believe a word any of them say? I’m at the point where I’ll demand to see unexpired government-issued photo ID before believing them when they tell me their names.
Whenever news like this breaks, one of the first things people want to know is exactly who was involved. I can do better than tell you (her name is Tracy Jackson). I can show you: ——————>
Even better than names and photos, Talking Points Memo has video! If you’d like to see Mr. Souder and Ms. Jackson in action, click on the video below.
Uh, I guess I should warn you – the video is not pornographic (that’s probably a blessing). It’s not even romantic or titillating. It is ironic, though. In this video, Souder’s paramour interviews him – I know you’re waiting breathlessly – about his position on abstinence-only sex education. I suppose they didn’t dare to venture too closely to other “family values,” such as monogamous marriage between a man and a woman. That would have taken brass balls of a size and strength seldom seen among mere humans.
Given recent revelations about George Rekers, it’s probably safe to say that there is one bright light here for Souder’s fellow “family values” Republicans and conservative Christian homophobes: they can take solace in the fact that, unlike Dr. Rekers, Mr. Souder had an affair with a female.
– the chaplain
Frank DN
May 18, 2010 at 10:11 pm
Men and women sleeping together? What is this world coming to? I’ll bet he never even thrusted. This is a vast left wing conspiracy to bring down god’s chosen political leaders who are doing their best to bring back godly polygamy just like in the bible. Are you sure she isn’t really a lesbian doing research about the other side?
PhillyChief
May 19, 2010 at 9:15 am
I’m just surprised the affair was with a woman.
desertscope
May 19, 2010 at 12:41 pm
Philly said what I was going to say. The GOP should give him a medal for having a plain Jane affair. No wetsuits, dildos, diapers, wide stances, rentboys, or ridiculous cover stories. Indeed, for the Hypocrisy Party, this is practically a breath of fresh air.
mutzali
May 19, 2010 at 1:26 pm
The truly amazing part of this was his press conference, wherein he blamed it all on “the poisonous environment of Washington, DC” and chastised fellow adulterers for making their spouses and children accompany them to the resignation press conferences. He’s a much better guy then THOSE slimeballs. (Or his wife just has more backbone than their wives.)
Larry Wallberg
May 19, 2010 at 2:03 pm
I watched the video, and I’m convinced that she was flashing him whenever she was off camera. Check it out again, and imagine that every time she says “mmm-hmmm” (or some other conversation filler), she’s fondling herself suggestively.
the chaplain
May 19, 2010 at 7:16 pm
Frank:
One thing I’m sure of is that Souder is a hypocrite. As for her, that’s a more likely explanation for her behavior than any real sexual attraction to they guy. He’s got about as much sex appeal as a pair of stinky sweat socks.
Philly:
I share your surprise. His affair is blander than plain vanilla compared to the doings of George “I didn’t know rentboy.com was a male prostitution site” Rekers, Larry “tap two times on the floor if you want me” Craig, Ted “I’ll take some pills with that cock” Haggard, David “put a diaper on me and burp me until I come” Vitter, Jimmy “strip while I jerk off” Swaggart and a host of others.
Des:
Yeah, this is one of the most boring sex scandals in recent memory.
mutzali:
I didn’t realize the DC atmosphere was so toxic. I’d better start wearing a gas mask.
Larry:
You must have found that video much more exciting than I did. With an imagination like yours, I’m guessing churches, synagogues and mosques are venues for a lot of sordid fantasies.
Tommykey
May 20, 2010 at 8:38 pm
These conservative Republicans are like the gift that keeps on giving!
the chaplain
May 20, 2010 at 9:32 pm
Tommy:
I just hope they keep on giving through November.
OneSmallStep
May 28, 2010 at 10:25 pm
I’m actually starting to be more surprised that conservative Christian politicians are faithful.
**How many of these stories have to emerge before conservative Christians and politicians who espouse conservative Christian talking points will lose all credibility with the American public? **
Given my ponderings of late, I’d be asking conservative Christians who support these politicians about why their “spirit of discernment” doesn’t discern things like this before they’re made public.
the chaplain
May 29, 2010 at 4:49 pm
OSS:
That whole “spirit of discernment” thing is pretty lame. People never discern when priests are fucking their kids, or preachers are skimming from the offering plates (or fucking their wives and daughters)… the list of things the spirit fails to discern is endless.