I saw this amusing church sign message today. Your assignment – come up with an appropriate rejoinder.
Church Sign #1, 2009
Upon completing your homework, sit back and enjoy a light show photo:
Light Show #1
— the chaplain
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Lazy Sunday: A Quiz and A Light Show
25
Jan
Vitamin R
January 25, 2009 at 11:47 pm
“God answers prayer, not advice”, eh?
What does that even mean, I wonder? If “advice” was replaced with “requests”, it’d be unwieldy and unclever, but I’d get it.
Meh, the only rejoinder I’ve got is: “‘God’ answers neither prayer, nor advice . . . only schizophrenics.”
Or perhaps just, “‘God’ answers schizophrenics.”
::shrugs::
And now, I shall enjoy the light show
DB
January 25, 2009 at 11:54 pm
Wow! This is the closest they have gotten to being right, half right! Too bad 50% is still failing. (god doesn’t answer advice is a true statement)
Laurie
January 26, 2009 at 12:00 am
Additional evidence that religion dulls logical thought processes.
Whew! I hate homework, but at least I get a reward.
PhillyChief
January 26, 2009 at 12:17 am
That makes no sense at all. Who’s trying to advise him? Granted, were he real, he could stand to listen to some advice.
ozatheist
January 26, 2009 at 6:01 am
I’ll admit, I’ve had a few glasses of wine before reading this; but that sign makes absolutely no sense.
Aren’t a lot of prayers asking for some sort of advice?
stateofprotest
January 26, 2009 at 9:33 am
What if you pray that God take your advice?
DB
January 26, 2009 at 9:37 am
@6 (Stateofprotest) – Because it defeats the point. Prayer is for personal gain and sporting events. Oh, and every 4 years we make a spectacle of it when crowning our king.
bitchspot
January 26, 2009 at 10:56 am
I agree, that makes no sense, but then again, this is Christianity we’re talking about here. Christians believe that God will do his will regardless, yet they spend time praying that God will suspend his will for their whims.
That said, if God were real, he really ought to be taking advice, maybe he wouldn’t act like such an insufferable prick.
Alan
January 26, 2009 at 6:26 pm
“Please be advised, prayer is as useless as your concept of God.”
the chaplain
January 26, 2009 at 6:45 pm
VitaminR:
God answers schizophrenics – pretty good answer.
DB:
50% isn’t a terribly good score, is it?
Laurie:
I hope the reward was worth the effort.
Philly:
I’d love to be a fly on the wall while you dispensed some advice to YHWH.
Oz:
I’m pretty sure that alcohol consumption has no deleterious effect on one’s ability to comprehend nonsense.
Stateofprotest:
That may be the only kind of prayer that would make sense, if there were a god to whom you and Philly could dispense your advise.
DB:
You forgot about prayers for deliverance from the consequences of one’s own stupidity. Or do you consider that a category of personal gain?
Bitchspot:
You can join Philly and Stateofprotest as God’s advisers. My word of advice to all three of you is this: demand payment up front; it’s well known that he prefers a deferred payment plan.
Alan:
Good advice.
Orion77
January 26, 2009 at 8:03 pm
“God answers prayer, not advice”
Lets give it a try then!
“Dear father, who art in heaven, please explain to all of us commenting here, WTF, this sign is trying too say. I love you very much and thank-you, thank-you, thank-you, for the iPhone at Xmas!”
Nightcap
January 27, 2009 at 4:55 pm
God, we all love you. This is an intervention…
(((Billy)))
January 30, 2009 at 5:59 pm
Do you suppose that god answers advice (or requests for advice (I have no idea if the sign refers to advising god or asking for advice from god (and wasn’t the bible supposed to be a foolproof (or proof of fool) instruction manual which negated the necessity of advice?)))) with the same rate of effectiveness as he answers prayers? That is to say, with exactly the same frequency as random chance? Which is to say, not at all?