I noticed this equation on a church sign as I drove to work this morning. Now, I’m not a mathematician (a fact that the deacon will gladly verify), but it seems to me that this equation does not say what I assume Christians want it to say. As I read this equation, I see it saying that Jesus is the sum or product of all of the factors above the line. I thought the Christian message was that Jesus is the source of peace, joy, love and hope, not the result of adding (or multiplying) those things together. When I add those factors, I don’t get Jesus as the answer.
Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to do one of the following:
a) tell me what answer you derive from adding or multiplying these four factors, or
b) tell me what factors you would add or multiply to derive the answer, Jesus.
Spelling counts, and you must show your work.
– the chaplain
Posted by Andrew on December 29, 2008 at 6:17 pm
I think it’s pretty honest: they see peace and love and hope and joy and conclude that Jesus is there. It’s a sum.
Next time you pass the church, bring a big red pen, put a cross, and write ’see me’.
Posted by (((Billy))) on December 29, 2008 at 6:31 pm
Peace
Joy
Love
Hope
Granola
——–
Liberalism
Posted by Ric on December 29, 2008 at 6:37 pm
I get P ELH AJOO COVP EYEE. Perhaps it’s a derivative of Aramaic, or a comment on the latest Israeli outrage in Palestine by George Bush, or Barack Obama.
Posted by commander other on December 29, 2008 at 6:40 pm
Peace+Love+Joy+Hope = Intelligent Design
Jesus = Exclusionary Dogma + Intentional Ignorance + Willful Self-Delusion.
Posted by Alan on December 29, 2008 at 6:42 pm
MYTH + DESPERATION + INSECURITY = JESUS
Of course, the equation has been well used by the church.
Posted by DB on December 29, 2008 at 7:07 pm
Or c), analyze equation.
If I am looking at this right, and I like to think that I am, those seem to be all the ingredients for Jesus to exist. Subtract one, let’s say ‘peace’ in this example, and the equation would clearly no longer add up to Jesus. On a grand scale, largely due to religions this Jesus character is associated with, peace does not exist, therefore Jesus must not exist.
Simple. Is there extra credit?
Posted by the chaplain on December 29, 2008 at 7:15 pm
Andrew:
I love the red pen idea.
(((Billy))):
I knew the equation was missing something. How could I have forgotten granola?
Ric:
Congratulations. Your answer makes no less sense than the original one.
Commander:
Wow! Two equations. Go to the head of the class.
Alan:
Ah, an integrated math and history lesson. Well done.
DB:
Your answer is good, but, since you failed to answer the question as posed, you don’t get a gold star. And, no, I never give extra credit.
Posted by The Ridger on December 29, 2008 at 7:16 pm
The peace of god, it is no peace, but strife closed in the sod. Yet, brothers, pray for just one thing: the marvelous peace of god.
See? They’ve covered that…
Posted by the chaplain on December 29, 2008 at 7:18 pm
Ridger:
That bit of verse strikes me as a bit circular, if you don’t mind me saying so.
Posted by bitchspot on December 29, 2008 at 7:51 pm
You’re absolutely right, it makes no sense to add things together in order to get something that most Christians view as the source of those things. A better mathematical metaphor might be division, if you cut Jesus up into little bits, perhaps you might get those elements.
But, like Alan said, you’re more likely to get an entirely different mix of elements once you separate the Jesus myth up.
Posted by MS Quixote on December 29, 2008 at 10:04 pm
Hey Chaplain,
I’ve lurked around your site for a time, perhaps primarily because of the alphabetical listing on DA’s blogroll, but mainly because the pieces of your deconversion narrative you’ve shared are interesting to me. Regardless, it’s sort of creepy to lurk too long without commenting at least once, so I figured this was as good a time as any. As for the above, I see it more like one of those word puzzles:
eyerighteye
Posted by the chaplain on December 29, 2008 at 10:25 pm
Bitchspot:
I never got the hang of long division. I had a bad feeling about what would happen if I tried dividing Jesus.
MSQuixote:
Thanks for coming out of hiding. Feel free to comment more than once.
Posted by PhillyChief on December 30, 2008 at 2:27 am
Perhaps repeatedly piling up the word bullshit as high as you can and then at the bottom draw the line and under that, Jesus.
Another thing would be to add “forced” before each of those words.
Still another way to look at it is as a bill. Let’s see, what’s the price for feeling peace, joy, love and hope? Oh, delusional belief in Jesus. Well that’s too rich for my blood, but then you can make those things for yourself for nowhere near that price, so why would anyone do otherwise? Crazy.
Posted by timeenoughatlast on December 30, 2008 at 5:10 am
I dunno; I think you’re too dismissisve of the possibilities that “sum” entails. I’m coming at this not from a pro or con XN standpoint, but am trying to stay secular. Let’s say we have the number “10.” We get “10″ by adding the numbers “4″ + “3″ + “2″ + “1.” The smaller numbers may be just constiuent parts of the larger number, but ultimately, they _are_ the same number. 4,3,2,1 IS 10. Couldn’t you therefore make the analogy that Peace, Joy, Love, Hope IS Jesus? That it’s really just a balanced equation, like in chemistry? The argument seems to me that it’s more like the balanced equation than it is a summation.
Posted by yunshui on December 30, 2008 at 6:41 am
Using substitution based on each letter’s alphabetical position, you get:
PEACE = 16+5+1+3+5=30
JOY = 10+15+25=30
LOVE = 12+15+22+5=54
HOPE = 8+15+16+5=44
Added together, these make 158, or 10+5+19+21+19+9+19+1+12+25+9+14+7+7+15+4…
Posted by stateofprotest on December 30, 2008 at 10:42 am
Taking: (thanks to Yunshui)
PEACE = 16+5+1+3+5
JOY = 10+15+25
LOVE = 12+15+22+5
HOPE = 8+15+16+5
Add columns downward, starting from the left: (so, 16+10+12+8, etc.)
46 50 64 13 5
JESUS =
10 5 19 21 19
46 50 64 13 5
(46) (5)(0 64 13 5)
4+6 = 10 = J
5 = E
6+4+1+3+5= 19 = S
(46 50 ((6)4 13 5))
4+6+5+6 = 21 = U
6+4+1+3+5= 19 = S
= JESUS
It’s a bit convoluted, but so is religion.
(note that the 0 wasn’t counted in any form, since it wasn’t a counting number in the time of Jesus)
Posted by yunshui on December 30, 2008 at 11:50 am
Oh… you can also write 158 as:
9+19+1+3+17+15+3+11+15+6+19+8+9+20+5
which also = JESUS, in a way…
Posted by Kagehi on December 30, 2008 at 1:05 pm
Anyone got a numerology that would result in adding up those words and getting 666, or 616? lol
Posted by Ordinary Girl on December 30, 2008 at 4:00 pm
Peace
Joy
Love
Hope
——
Bliss
And since Ignorance = Bliss, then
Peace
Joy
Love
Hope
——
Ignorance
Posted by the chaplain on December 30, 2008 at 7:04 pm
Philly:
The only problem with the bill theory is that there’s no place to write in the
tithetip.timeenough:
It may be an attempt at a balanced equation, but it still strikes me as precariously unbalanced.
yunshui:
Your equation has far too many numbers for me to follow. Remember, I’m mathematically challenged.
stateoprotest:
For a moment there, I thought you were creating a new form of Sudoku.
yunshui:
Again with the numbers!
Kagehi:
Give yunshui a bit more time; I bet he’ll do it.
OG:
Add some granola to that and you can leave behind your blissful ignorance and become a liberal like (((Billy))).
Posted by (((Billy))) on December 30, 2008 at 8:32 pm
Wait. Isn’t the equation 1+1+1=1? The unity of the trinity?
Posted by yunshui on December 31, 2008 at 5:51 am
Here’s an easy way to make JESUS equal 666:
add up the letters J+E+S+U+S (10+5+19+21+19) = 74
then multiply by the three figures of the Trinity (74×3=222)
then, just to be certain, multiply by the Trinity again: 222×3=666.
Posted by yunshui on December 31, 2008 at 6:14 am
And here’s a way to turn JESUS into SATAN just by changing one letter at a time (granted, there are a few dubious ones in here, so if anyone can do better…)
JESUS
JESTS (jokes and japery)
PESTS (nuisances)
PASTS (plural of “past”)
PISTS (ski-run – “pistes” is the more common spelling)
PISOS (Roman family who may have had a hand in writing the NT)
PISON (one of the four rivers which flowed out of Eden)
POSON (Sri Lankan New Year festival)
BOSON (subatomic particle)
BORON (noble gas)
BARON (minor British aristocrat)
SARON (Indonesian musical instrument)
SARIN (poisonous gas)
SATIN (fabric)
SATAN
Posted by the chaplain on December 31, 2008 at 8:52 am
(((Billy))):
I think the correct equation is 1 x 1 x 1 = 1.
yunshui:
I think you could give The Exterminator a run for his money in the puzzle-making and puzzle-solving departments.
Posted by Postman on January 1, 2009 at 6:58 pm
Aw… Alan@5 beat me to it.
Posted by gmcfly on May 3, 2009 at 4:45 pm
You can do this as a digit substitution problem. There are many possible solutions, but here’s one:
s=0, o=1, a=2, c=3, l=3, p=4, j=5, h=6, e=7, v=7, u=8, y=9
47237 + 519 + 3177 + 6147 = 57080
Note my use of all 10 digits, and no leading 0’s. I’ll go outside now and wait for my wedgie.
Posted by the chaplain on May 4, 2009 at 12:47 am
gmcfly:
Clever. The message isn’t true, but the manipulation is clever nonetheless.