For the past couple of weeks, several of you have been urging me to come out of the atheist closet. Well, it happened tonight.
The story actually started yesterday, Sunday morning, as my husband and I were getting ready for church. I mentioned that I was really getting “burned out” on our church. We discussed that a bit, and he revealed that if he were asked about his positions on some of our denomination’s doctrines, he would have to phrase his answers very carefully. We talked about that for a few more minutes, but had to halt the conversation because it was time to leave, with our 17-year-old son in tow.
This evening, at my huband’s suggestion, we went out to dinner. Since it was just the two of us, we were able to talk freely. The water had barely arrived when he asked me to tell him some more about my “burn-out.” I hemmed and hawed and gave the answer he already knew, that I’m tired of being the church pianist and being “on duty” every Sunday. He then asked, “is there anything else?” I hesitated, realizing that this was probably my best opportunity to be forthright and said, “I don’t think you’ll want to hear this, but I don’t believe in Christianity anymore.” He answered that he’d had a feeling that I’ve been having some questions lately, so he wasn’t surprised. We talked some more about where each of us is theologically (I’m an atheist, he’s a very liberal Christian, can’t quite get to the deist mindset). He revealed where some of his thinking has taken him in recent years, some of which I knew, but he filled in some blanks. I revealed where I am now, intellectually, and a bit about how I got here. I mentioned that I’d recently started this blog and would email the link to him when we got home (which I’ve done). I also told him that I’ve been frequenting a number of atheist blogs and have been communicating with many of you. He’s also been doing some of his own reading and will email some links to me.
We’ve both come a long way from our evangelical roots and we’re pleased that we’ve traveled pretty much parallel paths intellectually. We’ve been dropping subtle hints to each other for at least a couple of months, and have sensed that the other was working through some things, but haven’t been sure about how to get things out in the open. With tonight’s revelations, we’ve arrived again at a very open, honest, accepting point in our relationship. And that’s the most important thing in the world to both of us.